2015 New Year Resolution
1st Day of 2015
Though the first few hours of my 2015 was off to a good start, my day One itself is mostly spent worrying. It is ridiculous, the amount of things I worry about.
The whole of today, I was just worrying about what I should do for today, worried that my 2015 will just turned out to be another 2014, worried that I was being stagnant, that I will continue being stagnant. Yet thinking about the amount of things I have to do, steps I have to take to reach my goals, I am already feel exhausted.
Thus, talk about starting the New year on the right step, all I did was… probably walk my dog 5 times up and down the same park.
My anxiety, this useless way of worrying, is getting out of hand.
It is worrisome on how bad this is becoming, that I could barely breath and I couldn’t even sit still, all cause I want everything to go well too badly..
I was upset with the way the world is, with myself for not knowing what to do, with myself most importantly for wasting time.
Upset that no one was showing any love for the dog, that my brothers did not walk the dog, upset that he was being locked in for being just a dog.
Adding to this was the recent occupant of my heart being really ill and not replying too. I really wanted to hear his voice, it would have cheered me up. But saying so, I was also worried that my worries would just worry and burden everyone and anyone around me. I guessed that I shouldn’t talk.
My eyes were blurry and I was worried too.
I wanted to run but I couldn’t cause of my shoulder, wanted to leave but I couldn’t, wanted to do well, but I just didn’t.
Worried about the relationship even before the relationship has started, the best part is, I am already falling in Love and missing him like crazy… adding up to the mess in my head.
All these thinking and there is still my 2015 New Year Resolution to think about.
2014 resolution, I aimed to finish all my tasks and responsibilities so as to achieve 1 full week of relaxation of having nothing to do nor worry.
I did kind of achieve it. By realising that duties, tasks and responsibilities are never possible to finish. That one’s relaxation is about how one manage it. I realised that while I was in Korea. Despite being anywhere in the World, I am just gonna be who I am and I shouldn’t run away from it.
What should it be that I have to ensure that I should do to be by the next year of 2016?
I guess my 2015 resolution should be stop worrying as a priority haha and just be happy la. 😄
Well at the end, this is what I have came up with since I couldn’t make up my mind on what I should do.
2015 New Year Resolution
Accomplish one of the below, or more.
- Get into the Airlines.
- Earn a sense of security finically.
- Get a full time Job of 9-5 for 3 months.
- Save 10K this year.
- Lose weight.
- Get my own Place. (in ten years time perhaps… zzz)
- Pass Topik
- Do modelling in LA
- Compete in Skating again.
- Make a living from Skating.
- Live out of Singapore for 1 year.
- Travel out of Asia
- Backpack Travel
- Get myself one thing from my wish-list.
Hehe some of it might be ridiculous, but oh well we will see how it goes. I barely know what I want these days being confuse after being shoved, left, right and messed around.
To all the confuse friends like me, 😀 haha hopefully this 2015 we will get back on Track!
I believe it is ok not seeing where the end of the line is (where we want to go), as long as we never stop working hard. 🙂 As long as we are improving and learning that should led us somewhere right?
At the end I guess, we would all just all like to reach up the top of this pyramid.
Interesting inspiring article I would like to share
I should learn to write better too.